She’ll deny it, but she was the one who was interested in exploring the spicy stuff
How do people get into kink? Here’s our story.
When we were dating fairly early on, we went into a nice, woman-owned adult store near where we lived in suburban DC.
We were poking around, and my gal had gotten a little ahead of me. She’d never minded going in the Adult section of the video store, either. I love my gal.
Anyway, I caught up to her where she had paused, and I take a look at the “Bondage 101” kit, containing velcro wrist and ankle cuffs –with matching o-rings and clips on each, a couple lengths of nylon strapping with more hooks, a blindfold, and a leather paddle. As if waiting for me to notice it, she says, “We can get that if you want.” In retrospect, I think I was set up. 😉 But into the cart it went!
So, we got home, and this was all blank slate to me. I kinda had the general idea I guess… we got the cuffs on her ankles and wrists, blindfolded her, tied her spread-eagled to the bed. It was okay, I used the vibrator on her. It’s so long ago I don’t know if I kept up quite the verbal narration of what I was thinking, seeing, doing and feeling as I do now. So we did that for a bit, and it was hard to have sex.
But, we tried again a night or week later, I can’t remember. I’ve got her blindfolded, wrists cuffed to the headboard, I’m looking at her ankles and am about to tie them to the footboard… and something much better occurs to me. “Fuck that.” So, I grab each of her ankles, and tie first one to the headboard behind her, then the other, so her legs are wide open and spread apart, pussy gaping.
Seriously: It was like her brain exploded when I did that to her.
Having her tied up in a way that made her vulnerable and undeniably sexual gave her the freedom to embrace her sexuality
With her tied up like that, spread and helpless for whatever I wanted to do to her, totally exposed to my view… well, her excitement was palpable, and she was almost at the point of orgasming before I even got her second ankle fastened to the headboard.
I brought out the vibrator and touched it to her pussy, and she had this huge orgasm almost instantly. Like, the biggest I’d ever seen her have, and we’d had some good sex by that point.
I’ve thought about it, and I think that it really tapped into her deepest fantasies, to be displayed, fucked, used… helpless for whatever I wanted to do to her.
After she came I climbed right on top and entered her, and I wasn’t able to hold off myself off for long… she was cumming again so hard as I used her like that I couldn’t help but mirror her excitement and frantic arousal . Man! All these years later, it still makes me hot thinking about it.
So, that was the official start of our bondage play.
We tried switching, with her tying me up and doing the same stuff, and it was just kind of meh… she didn’t enjoy it, and I couldn’t see anything or do anything. I’m really a top, she’s a bottom… which means I like doing stuff to her, and she likes stuff being done to her.
She suggested we read some erotic books together
Then she said had read some blistering books about bondage that I might enjoy, and that I could read aloud to her.
So we did. They were Ann Rice’s Sleeping Beauty series.
In all honesty, the books aren’t great: the characters are under-developed, the stories pretty basic, and there’s not really much a plot. But Rice really does tap into very deep pools of female submissive fantasies. And the content is very graphic, and describes lots of fetish acts. Lots and lots of spanking, but also lots of dominance and submission and lots and lots of different kinds of sex acts… some of them very, very extreme. I can’t even start to remember everything.
But, reading those books aloud to her in bed definitely showed me what we wanted. And I don’t think we ever made it more than two or three chapters before she was over my lap and the book had been tossed aside, forgotten.
Overtime, we did more roleplay, with me playing the dom: giving her orders to strip, touch herself, position herself, do whatever I told her. “Don’t look up unless ordered,” “don’t cum unless ordered,” “count each stroke.”
We did a lot of spanking play. She loved that.
She still talks about the time I called her to the bedroom, where I had placed a straight-back chair in the middle of the big empty space, and how she felt seeing it there, and me standing next to it, and telling her she had been a bad girl and I was going to give her a spanking. I then ordered her to strip, slowly, folding each item of clothing neatly and placing it in front of me on the floor, until she stood completely naked, me still clothed.
Next, I sat down on the chair, and told her to lay herself across my lap. I slowly started to spank her, making her count each stroke, and as I spanked and I played with her pussy between strokes.
<smile> She loved –and still loves– that stuff.
We don’t get the chance for that too much lately, but it’s completely cathartic for both of us, and immediately following every scene like that there is some really, really good sex.
We have an Ikea footstool that I picked up at one point. It’s a bit under two feet high, two feet long, and is padded with a round top. We’ve put that footstool to a lot of good use over the years… You can see a picture of it on my FetLife profile. If you look at it, you can imagine her on it in either direction.
We just redid our bedroom, and a lot of stuff went to make room for her decorating vision. But not once did she suggest that footstool be tossed. Actually, she wound up giving the bedroom a lilac color palate (I wasn’t thrilled, but it’s not as girly as I was afraid it would be)… and I haven’t pressed her on it, but I think because the footstool is being kept and is purple. I admit I could be wrong. But I also know that if I pressed her, she’d deny it. She likes to be coy sometimes.
And sometimes, I know she likes the thrill of just having it out in plain view, only her and me knowing the things we’ve done to he on it.
Read the next post in the Spicing Things Up Series: How Normal People Get into Kink: More Stories