Maybe when you read Part 1 on Marriage, you thought, “Yeah, yeah. People can get out of marriages, and do if they’re not happy. Got it. And you think marriage is great, yada, yada. Great. Well, my marriage isn’t so great. What’s this nonsense about nourishing it, already?
Well, let’s say there are three states of marriage:
- Unhappy and
- one with Warning Signs.
Let me ask you: What are the signs of a happy marriage?
Take a moment and think about it before you read on.
Okay, ready? Here’s my list. See how much you overlap.
The Signs of a Happy Marriage
- You’re not unhappy. Okay, it’s answering the question with the question. But it’s true.
- You feel you have a shared purpose and are working together to get there.
- You look forward to spending time with each other.
- You listen to each other.
- You do things for each other to make each other happy.
- You hold hands.
- When you disagree, you try not to get upset, you try to find a way to work things out.
- Your arguments focus more on understanding each other than proving who’s right.
- You don’t always have to agree, you respect your differences.
- You encourage each other to have your own interests, friends and hobbies.
- Your sex life is good in both quality and quantity.
- You say “I love you.”
- You are interested in each other.
- You are proud to be married to each other.
- You make time for each other.
- You talk about what’s important to each other, and make sure each person is getting what they need.
What does an unhappy marriage look like? Well, just take the opposites of the list above.
And a marriage with Warning Signs? Every case is different, but let’s say it’s that you can’t say yes to all of the above.
Read the next post in the Keeping the Spark Alive Series: Marriage, Part 3: Anger, Conflict and Communication