Where do you hide your sex toys?
Maybe you’re a parent, or someone with nosy parents or visitors. Some people don’t mind being “outed” or having other people know what you’re up to in the bedroom. But most of us want to keep it to ourselves. People do judge you. And people talk. And opinions vary, but I personally don’t want our kids to have to think about what their parents do in the bedroom, especially when it gets into bondage stuff. Having had very indiscreet parents, I know from personal experience it’s a burden, especially if other kids see –and steal—the Polaroids. <shudder>
There are two ways to keep things secure. Either hide it, or lock it up. I prefer both. Much crime takes place if someone has the opportunity and notices a good target. The same goes for snooping: as a kid, I was always on the lookout for something I shouldn’t know about.
Ultimately, you want your stuff both secure and accessible. If it takes you five minutes to haul things out, that can derail the mood!
Here are the best ways I’ve found to hide your sex toys:
- A locked suitcase. Suitcases really shouldn’t raise questions.
- Use a small word lock so you don’t have to futz with hiding the key.
- If you do decide to use a keyed lock, use a key safe like realtors use to keep keys safe.
- Keys on rings can be quickly borrowed if you leave them around
- Keys also take time to get from their hiding place
- A locked footlocker. (If you can find a place for it!)
- A locked filing cabinet.
- A locking under-the-bed box. This is a cool and fairly new product, but does have the disadvantage of being keyed. Still, I put an affiliate link in for you, I would buy this!
- A hotel safe with keypad.
- We lifted up our box spring and put it under the bed, it fit perfectly, and I can quickly enter the keypad code and retrieve whatever I want out of it quickly.
- I’ve put my affiliate link in above. I highly recommend this option!
- Pillow storage
- This is the idea of “hiding in plain sight.” But it has the disadvantage of not being lockable, and someone noticing the pillow is heavy and has something in it.
- Garment bag
- You can adapt a garment bag to hang things in it. Some garment bag suitcases can even be locked.
- Shoe boxes in the closet. These are less secure, but if you’re less concerned about snooping, can be used.
- On top of armoires or other tall places. You can place things out of view, even a lockbox. But this can be hard to get to.
- In a wall safe
- A wall safe can be installed pretty easily with a drywall saw and screwdriver, fitting in between wall studs. But they can be small.
- Storage capacity can also be small. But this can be a great option.
- Secret compartment
- My solution was to build my own large locking secret compartment in my closet. It is invisible and I’ve had it there for ten years, and the kids still haven’t found it.
- Using a drywall saw, I cut out a section of drywall on the closet wall, with studs on either side and one in the middle.
- The whole space between the wall is now available for storage. I can store long things down to the floor.
- Then, I cut a piece of heavy fiber board to match.
- I drilled two holes for locks.
- I cut down a piano hinge to fit along the edge, and affixed it to the stud.
- I painted the drywall to match.
- The top gap I hid with a tie rack, and the ties hang down and hide one of the vertical gaps.
- The bottom gap was hidden by a strip of wood that looks like a shelf had been there.
- The other gap is hidden by a hanging robe.
I have used all of these different approaches, but now mostly go with the under-the-bed keypad safe for quick-access stuff, the locked suitcase for stuff we use much less frequently. The secret compartment wound up being a little too inconvenient for quick use with the keyed locks, so I just keep a few things we use very rarely in there. Ask me nicely in an email, and I’ll tell you what that stuff might be. 🙂
How about you? What great ideas do you have for hiding your stuff and keeping it secure from prying eyes? I’d love to know!