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How Normal Couples Get into Kink: Our Story

November 8, 2014 by Edward Ryan Leave a Comment

She’ll deny it, but she was the one who was interested in exploring the spicy stuff

How do people get into kink? Here’s our story.

When we were dating fairly early on, we went into a nice, woman-owned adult store near where we lived in suburban DC.

We were poking around, and my gal had gotten a little ahead of me. She’d never minded going in the Adult section of the video store, either. I love my gal.

Anyway, I caught up to her where she had paused, and I take a look at the “Bondage 101” kit, containing velcro wrist and ankle cuffs –with matching o-rings and clips on each, a couple lengths of nylon strapping with more hooks, a blindfold, and a leather paddle. As if waiting for me to notice it, she says, “We can get that if you want.” In retrospect, I think I was set up. 😉 But into the cart it went!

So, we got home, and this was all blank slate to me. I kinda had the general idea I guess… we got the cuffs on her ankles and wrists, blindfolded her, tied her spread-eagled to the bed. It was okay, I used the vibrator on her. It’s so long ago I don’t know if I kept up quite the verbal narration of what I was thinking, seeing, doing and feeling as I do now. So we did that for a bit, and it was hard to have sex.

Meh.

But, we tried again a night or week later, I can’t remember. I’ve got her blindfolded, wrists cuffed to the headboard, I’m looking at her ankles and am about to tie them to the footboard… and something much better occurs to me. “Fuck that.” So, I grab each of her ankles, and tie first one to the headboard behind her, then the other, so her legs are wide open and spread apart, pussy gaping.

Seriously: It was like her brain exploded when I did that to her.

Having her tied up in a way that made her vulnerable and undeniably sexual gave her the freedom to embrace her sexuality

With her tied up like that, spread and helpless for whatever I wanted to do to her, totally exposed to my view… well, her excitement was palpable, and she was almost at the point of orgasming before I even got her second ankle fastened to the headboard.

I brought out the vibrator and touched it to her pussy, and she had this huge orgasm almost instantly. Like, the biggest I’d ever seen her have, and we’d had some good sex by that point.

I’ve thought about it, and I think that it really tapped into her deepest fantasies, to be displayed, fucked, used… helpless for whatever I wanted to do to her.

After she came I climbed right on top and entered her, and I wasn’t able to hold off myself off for long… she was cumming again so hard as I used her like that I couldn’t help but mirror her excitement and frantic arousal . Man! All these years later, it still makes me hot thinking about it.

So, that was the official start of our bondage play.

We tried switching, with her tying me up and doing the same stuff, and it was just kind of meh… she didn’t enjoy it, and I couldn’t see anything or do anything. I’m really a top, she’s a bottom… which means I like doing stuff to her, and she likes stuff being done to her.

She suggested we read some erotic books together

Then she said had read some blistering books about bondage that I might enjoy, and that I could read aloud to her.

So we did. They were Ann Rice’s Sleeping Beauty series.

In all honesty, the books aren’t great: the characters are under-developed, the stories pretty basic, and there’s not really much a plot. But Rice really does tap into very deep pools of female submissive fantasies. And the content is very graphic, and describes lots of fetish acts. Lots and lots of spanking, but also lots of dominance and submission and lots and lots of different kinds of sex acts… some of them very, very extreme. I can’t even start to remember everything.

But, reading those books aloud to her in bed definitely showed me what we wanted. And I don’t think we ever made it more than two or three chapters before she was over my lap and the book had been tossed aside, forgotten.

Discovering Spanking

Overtime, we did more roleplay, with me playing the dom: giving her orders to strip, touch herself, position herself, do whatever I told her. “Don’t look up unless ordered,” “don’t cum unless ordered,” “count each stroke.”

We did a lot of spanking play. She loved that.

She still talks about the time I called her to the bedroom, where I had placed a straight-back chair in the middle of the big empty space, and how she felt seeing it there, and me standing next to it, and telling her she had been a bad girl and I was going to give her a spanking. I then ordered her to strip, slowly, folding each item of clothing neatly and placing it in front of me on the floor, until she stood completely naked, me still clothed.

Next, I sat down on the chair, and told her to lay herself across my lap. I slowly started to spank her, making her count each stroke, and as I spanked and I played with her pussy between strokes.

<smile> She loved –and still loves– that stuff.

We don’t get the chance for that too much lately, but it’s completely cathartic for both of us, and immediately following every scene like that there is some really, really good sex.

We have an Ikea footstool that I picked up at one point. It’s a bit under two feet high, two feet long, and is padded with a round top. We’ve put that footstool to a lot of good use over the years… You can see a picture of it on my FetLife profile. If you look at it, you can imagine her on it in either direction.

We just redid our bedroom, and a lot of stuff went to make room for her decorating vision. But not once did she suggest that footstool be tossed. Actually, she wound up giving the bedroom a lilac color palate (I wasn’t thrilled, but it’s not as girly as I was afraid it would be)… and I haven’t pressed her on it, but I think because the footstool is being kept and is purple. I admit I could be wrong. But I also know that if I pressed her, she’d deny it. She likes to be coy sometimes.

And sometimes, I know she likes the thrill of just having it out in plain view, only her and me knowing the things we’ve done to he on it.

Read the next post in the Spicing Things Up Series: How Normal People Get into Kink: More Stories

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Explore Kink: Ten Spicy Sex Life Improvers for Couples!

November 5, 2014 by Edward Ryan 1 Comment

The world of kink is vast, limited only by the minds and interests of everyone in the world. So we aren’t going to get into everything. But, we can at least look at some of the more “mainstream” kinks that you might be interested in.

But before we do, one comment about the words “kink” and “fetish”: They suck.

Words are loaded, and those words in particular have negative emotional connotations that imply sexual deviancy and unwholesomeness. So, I’ll try to use the word “spicy” to better describe these things for folks who want to explore kink.

With that, if you want to explore kink, here are ten common ones to consider.

Voyeurism – People-watching is a time-honored sport, it’s fun, especially on a date night say watching singles hook up and make out. And porn movies can count, too.
Exhibitionism – Ever get aroused by the idea of someone checking you out or getting titillated seeing more of you than they probably should? There are many degrees of this, from wearing a low-cut blouse to streaking through campus.
Clothing: Lingerie & Shoes – Besides looking sexy, there are a large number of people who have developed sexual attraction to certain clothing items. The variety is vast, but some men just get incredibly turned on by their women tramping it up in something revealing, others get turned on by shoes and stockings.
Body Parts: Feet, hands and hair – Like clothing, some people have biologically come to associate certain body parts with sexual arousal. Straight men often respond to boobs, butts, legs and waists. But some also get turned on by feed, hands and hair. And straight women get turned on by masculine features like shoulders and waists. If there’s some way you guys can get a thrill in the bedroom with your partner by enjoying these body parts, why wouldn’t you?
Bondage – Bondage has become a catch-all phrase for a lot of things, but we’ll say here that it’s tying someone up through any number of methods, in any kind of position, for sexual or non-sexual reasons. For some, it’s about the control that they have over the other person, or the demonstration of submission, that they willingly give themselves up to another person. Personally, I find that bondage is a lot of fun because when I’m done, my wife has given me total control over her, and I feel I have permission to see to my own pleasure with her like that which I don’t have otherwise. Combine this with a blindfold and other stuff, and the freedom it gives both of us is amazing.
Spanking (S&M) – Spanking is one kind of sensation play, where a person spanks another person’s butt, either by hand or with a device. Other parts of the body can be flogged or paddled as well, and some folks enjoy the endorphins released that tangle up with the pleasure receptors so much they get into what’s called “heavy sensation play.” That’s not something my wife and I are interested in, but many are.
Dominance and Submission – it’s just like it sounds: One person takes charge, the other gives up control. We are all wired with neural pathways for this kind of stuff, and in some cases we are leaders, in others followers, and there is a pleasure to be found in each. This kind of play takes that further, and some folks get a lot of pleasure from each role. Tie that up with sexual play, and it’s a hell of a cocktail.
Oral – Okay, this seems tame compared to the other topics we’ve been talking about… but it’s not. Have you and your partner really discovered oral sex? I’m going to guess that most of us haven’t. We’ll do more posts on this later, but for now, check out She Comes First in our recommended books section.
Anal – Anal has a bad rep, for a lot of obvious reasons. But I can personally attest that there is pleasure to be found in this area, for both of you. If you already know you’re interested, then go for it. If it’s not something you’ve ever considered, consider it. Check our other posts for posts tagged “anal.”
Toys – Butt plugs and dildos and lube, Oh my! A clothing catalog my wife got in the mail the other day had two pages of sex toys in it. They’re everywhere. Try ‘em out. One of my stories is about a rosebud buttplug. It’s a kink, but also getting more common.

Want to learn more about what you might like? Try a checklist: you can find a post I did on checklists here.

Even better, sit down with your partner, and do a checklist together. You’ll learn a lot, it’ll be fun and exciting, and perhaps most importantly what you and your spouse are not interested in.

Plus, you’ll learn some things that your spouse might not just be willing to try, but is enthusiastic about. I remember when my wife and I did a checklist for the first time. I was stunned –and overjoyed– by some of the things my wife said she would try. “Really?? You’d do THAT?” My god, my gal… I love her.

And that is a great example of the benefits that kink can bring. That my wife is willing to admit and even do some things that would shock the neighbors makes me feel incredibly close to her, and excited, and grateful that she shares such thoughts with me. And I think the same would be true for everyone in the same situation.

Your feelings of rejection and shame

Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today that:

There is an unfortunate misconception that fantasies, fetishes, and kink necessarily “objectify” and “distance” lovers from one another. Usually, just the opposite is true. Sharing your secret sexual cravings with a special partner can increase trust and intimacy. It is a special, private piece of yourself that you are giving to someone else.

In this world where half of all marriages end in divorce –if people even get married at all– looking into things to satisfy your own desires isn’t bad. What happens in the bedroom is your own business.

If you feel ashamed of your desires, then you owe it to yourself to ask why. Most likely, it’s expectations that you feel society, religion, family or you have for yourself. But are you subordinating your own happiness for subjective morality that you never chose for yourself? If so, then stick up for yourself. If you are feeling unhappy, unconnected and unfulfilled, that is no way to go through life. Try other things, and get a loving partner to explore them with you.

Read the next post in the Spicing Things Up Series: Get Your Partner Interested in the Exhilaration of Spicy Sex and Kink

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Is Bondage Wrong? Not if Wives Want a Strong Man in Bed and an Equal Partner the Rest of the Time.

November 5, 2014 by Edward Ryan Leave a Comment

Sex Lives are Sucking.

Jen is a good girl. Good mom. Good wife. Good daughter. Good employee. She’s dedicated to everyone. Always on. Always thinking of others.

Her husband Mark is kind. Handsome. Attentive. Nice

And their sex life sucks.

They do it twice a week. Usually missionary after the kids go to sleep. Mark is gentle, loving, attentive to her needs. Usually she has a nice little orgasm, and falls asleep in Mark’s arms.

She’s bored.

Sometimes, she just wants Mark to tear off her clothes, throw her down, and fuck her hard.

Maybe even pull her hair, spank her ass.

Of course, Mark would never treat the mother of her children that way.

So, she feels empty. And sometimes a few of her girlfriends give hints of wild nights and just-the-grownups trips away, things that they do in the bedroom that she hasn’t done. They don’t seem to ask themselves, “is bondage wrong? And she feels jealous, and a bit disappointed, and even a bit angry.

But good girls don’t want to do those kind of things. Right?

Well, actually, they do.

Things are changing: Kinky Sex is going Mainstream

50 Shades was a phenomenon, with moms and girlfriends reading and talking about having that kind of sex with that kind of focused, hungry, dominant man.

Maybe Jen secretly read the book. But she knows that in her long relationship with Mark, that he is not going to change that much. And Christian Grey in the book was a new man; she is not about to start a new romance.

But Jen is wrong.

She can have a new man, and a new relationship. And that man can be her husband. She just doesn’t get this. While there might be some barriers for Mark to overcome, he’d probably be delighted to delight his wife. And he’ll benefit, too.

First, Jen needs to decide what she wants out of this. Sex is nice, but really, she wants some adventure… and to feel desired. To feel more intimacy with her husband. And to fulfill some dark fantasies she can’t even put words to, around being… lusted for… owned… and taken.

She wants to feel that desire that Mark had for her when they were first together. And, for a time, she wants to forget her roles and responsibilities, and be free to live in that moment. She wants the freedom to revel in herself and her own pleasure, which she really can’t do with her mind buzzing with all of her other roles and responsibilities.

Mark, concurrently, really wants similar things. Besides every guy’s drive for passionate sex, he wants to rekindle the romance with his wife. He wants to feel closer, and wants her to feel closer to him. And, ultimately, because he’s a good guy, he wants to please his wife, and give her what she desires.

Mark may have to overcome conditioning about how to treat a lady… and Jen about how she should expect to be treated. But the key here is that this is just-in-the-bedroom stuff. This is fun, and temporary, and something two people that care and even love each other do, with respect and trust.

How do they do this?

Roleplay.

How to have a Roleplay Session

Before a session, Jen and Mark agree who does what, as should you. It can be hard to ask for and discuss. But if one person is playing a king or queen, and the other the servant, it puts some distance between the people who they are in day-to-day life. And allows fantasies to be fulfilled.

It can be hard to ask. Before the session, you should agree to how things begin and end, and on safewords. (Safewords are special words that are used if things get too intense… often folks use “yellow” for “slow down!” and “red” for “Stop!”)

And if it’s hard to know what to do, you can do a checklist or read some erotic stories together. Maybe you identify a few things in advance that you might like to do or try. This way, both of you know what you’re getting into. And if there’s special equipment you have to get (“Honey, where’s your hairbrush?”) you guys can get things together ahead of time. And if both people know the limits and what’s expected, that reduces stress hugely.

If both people think of it as a scene in a play, that helps lower inhibitions. You’re playing roles, not yourselves, so you can do things you might not usually be comfortable saying or doing, as “it’s the character, not me!” That provides a bit of emotional distance from asking for things you want to try but are embarrassed to ask for.

I would guess that when the person who is fulfilling the request of their partner sees how sexually excited and enthusiastic the other person gets, well, there is no better positive reinforcement than that for continuing exploring.

The benefits are the excitement, fulfillment, and intimacy. Being able to share these things with your partner brings you closer. Maybe it’s an endorphin blast to your brain that makes you feel all goofy and happy… but, scientifically, isn’t that what love is, too?

Read the next post in the Spicing Things Up Series: Your Crazy Sexual Desires Don’t Make Sense. Enjoy ‘em Anyway!

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How Normal People Are Getting into Kink: More Stories

November 5, 2014 by Edward Ryan Leave a Comment

More and More People are Getting Into Kink

For me, the greatest thing about the Internet is that I have made some incredibly close online friends, friends like I haven’t made since college. I’ve met them on discussion boards and in chat rooms over the years, and I have half-a-dozen folks who I keep in touch with online fairly regularly, who I’ve never met in person.

As you might guess, I met all of them in adult chatrooms. They are all people who are a bit more introspective and “real,” than most, and we soon were chatting about our lives as well as things like how to hide your bondage stuff when you have in-laws visiting.

And it’s not as seedy or sordid as it might seem. Nowadays, you can chat with people of like interests on any number of sites, from Yahoo Instant Messenger to FetLife. You won’t click with most. But over time, you might.

With these folks’ permission, I am sharing a bit of these folks’ stories of how they discovered kink. In all cases, these are not their real names.

Jenna

Jenna’s a mom with kids in high school. She’s never been a member of the popular crowd, but is sincere in her faith and her desire to be a good wife and mom. She’s always hungered for love and attention, and to be desired, owned and protected by her partner.

She didn’t fully come to realize what she wanted until 50 Shades came out. Reading that book, she soon was devouring other erotic fiction she found on Amazon. And one of the books she read mentioned FetLife as a site she might want to join… which she did, which was where we met online.

Like us, she and her husband are entirely monogamous, and are similar in a lot of other interesting ways that I won’t mention. But we just clicked.

Jenna gathered her courage as she figured out what she wanted, and spoke to her great husband about her spicy desires. It’s hard making someone who had never considered this stuff understand what was being asked for, but she wasn’t shy about giving him things to read.

They ratcheted it up over time. They experimented with different things, and found what they liked. And, he was surprised and excited by both how worked up the things got her, and also the visual and mental stimulation it gave him.

What she finds most compelling is that she has his full attention and his clear desire for her. He may be distracted other times, but when they’re in the throes of a kinky sex session, there is no one there but them, and their play can be intense and cathartic.

They’ve had their setbacks; she struggles with his ability to truly “lead” in their bedroom activities, to fully take on the “dom” role and “own” everything, including her. But, compared to most folks, the nature and intensity of their activities impresses the hell out of me, personally.

They continue to work on him taking more of the lead, and it’s not always as much as she wants and desires, but she knows she is getting a lot of what she wants. And I joked with her once that I suspect that they have more and better sex than the rest of their church, combined.

Diane

Now married to a disabled man who is step-father to her adult son, Diane had some horrific family situations that left her scarred in many ways, including being married to an emotionally-abusive alcoholic.

She says she has always been submissive, although she’d never had words to describe it. Then, one day, she met a man who was a classical dominant, and cheated on her husband. After that night, she never had sex with her soon-to-be ex again, and also resolved to leave him, which she did. She had to save up her courage, and her money. It happened long before I ever knew her, but I’m proud of her.

Over time, thanks to the Internet, she read and researched more, and found out she was sexually submissive, and found herself a good man who she educated to be what she wanted in the bedroom. Their sex life is incredibly and increasingly steamy, and most folks wouldn’t believe it. They’ve also found that the quality of their connection has only improved over time, and as they’ve slowly opened up to each other about their sexual desires, they’ve been able to open up their hearts further to each other as well.

Rafael

With nearly ten years in the military and several overseas deployments, Rafael and his wife had the need to reconnect after their long separations.

His wife wanted to know that when he was there, he was there. She wanted to know that he truly wanted and desired her, to the point that she wanted him wanted him to own her. She couldn’t out-and-out ask for this, but Rafael noticed that she responded very strongly and positively to rougher, more assertive sex… and sex that was incredibly fulfilling for him.

It wasn’t long before he figured out that tying her up and giving her orders was part of what she fantasized about. This opened the door to some intimate conversations where she opened her heart, and the two of them have pursued an arrangement with him in the more constant dominant role than what my wife and I do.

But I find it a heart-warming story of two people who love each other who want to give each other what they need.

Kink is normal

Does any of this sound weird to you? Hopefully not.

In each of these cases, these folks were meeting the needs of their partners or getting their own needs satisfied. The roughness or dominance of what they do or desire is not abusive or unwanted, but is perceived more as a visceral demonstration of their desire and hunger for one another.

No one’s getting hurt or abused. Actually, it’s exactly the opposite. Both people are getting exactly what they want and need, and which has for a long time seemed wrong to ask for.

Still in the Closet

There are many people who are still hiding their desires and what they are. “In the Closet” has traditionally meant that someone is secretly gay, but it can also apply to folks with other fetishes and sexual interests that aren’t acceptable in mainstream society.

A common one is men who have a fetish for women’s underwear, or even cross-dressing. Many of these men feel they can’t share their desires with their wives.

Other fetishes are too many to list… but if you have a fetish, or your partner does, consider bringing it out. You might need to do it in a joking or non-threatening way, but if your partner wants you to be happy, it is reasonable to expect that you can work something out.

And really, unspoken and unfulfilled desires can eventually kill a relationship. Or can keep you from having true intimacy with your partner, depriving both of you of the connection you deserve.

Read the next post in the Spicing Things Up Series: Is Bondage Wrong? Not if Wives Want a Strong Man in Bed and an Equal Partner the Rest of the Time.

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Fallen out of Love

November 4, 2014 by Edward Ryan Leave a Comment

“I love you… but I’m not in love with you.”

Those words are usually spoken by wives to their husbands, and it means it’s the end.

The woman has fallen out of love. And she doesn’t find him sexually attractive anymore.

There could be any number of reasons. The usual ones are that the couple grew apart, found flaws in their relationship, their priorities changed, or just couldn’t get along. More extreme reasons are abuse, infidelity, financial irresponsibility, or maybe the person just met someone else.

But, let’s think about the last item. Let’s suppose that the guy is a great husband who believes in equality and supports his wife. He vacuums, cooks, takes care of the kids. He encourages his wife to have her own career and interests, listens to her, rubs her neck. He doesn’t push sex on her when she’s tired and stressed. She starts thinking of him not just her husband… but her best friend.

And then she meets the testosterone-laden alpha male who may not do any of those things… but lights her fires like they haven’t been aflame in years. She obsesses on this new man… and gives her nice, caring husband the heave-ho.

Why?

They aren’t rational.

Or, let’s take the flip side of the coin. A guy has a wife who is perfect in every way… but he starts sleeping with a coworker who he’s fallen in love –and lust– with. He throws away his marriage and everything he had.

Again, why?

Hormones again.

Our hormones are addictive. They control us, subconsciously. And they impact both sexes equally.

They drive us to do stupid things for shitty reasons.

But there is an answer

And the answer is that both partners need to be honest with themselves and each other about what they want. And often, this means non-politically correct sex.

In the case of my wife and me, we have found that occasional roleplay in the bedroom resets the stresses of relationship of equals, recharges us, and gives us a cathartic outlet that brings balance to our relationship.

We don’t do it all the time, and we need our regular sexual connection as well. But me taking the dominant role, acting the alpha and giving her orders I expect obeyed lets my wife see me in a more masculine way that she secretly hungers for. And to trigger her enjoyment she has to make the mental shift to surrender and give up control… which is a hard thing for her to do, but ultimately is liberating and cathartic for her.

It’s been the answer for us, and increasingly, science is proving this out.

So, for those wives and husbands who have lost interest in their partner, who have fallen out of love or are risk of doing so, I firmly believe an occasional session of such roleplay does wonders, and can heal some of what is potentially fatally stressing the relationship.

And with that, we end this series of posts.

The next series of posts is called Spicing Things Up: Ignite your Passion! The first post explains what folks enjoy about spicy sex and things that aren’t politically correct but which are bringing back the spark in marriages and relationships.

Read the first post in the Keeping the Spark Alive Series: Why Do People Like the Spicy Sex Stuff?

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Spice Up Your Sex Life to Increase Intimacy

November 3, 2014 by Edward Ryan Leave a Comment

Caren felt every little breeze as Mike moved around her naked body. He had tied a silk scarf over her eyes, blindfolding her, then had stripped her clothes off, piece by piece, until she stood naked in the middle of their bedroom.

Mike had gently kissed her neck and shoulders as he removed each item, and now she felt his hand traveling over her body… over her shoulder… down her back… across her hip… until he let it rest, gently cupping and caressing one cheek of her behind. She felt him move closer into her, his clothed body hot against hers, and she felt a hint of whiskers on her cheek as he brought his mouth close to her ear. She could smell his cologne, and felt his hot breath in her hear as he whispered unimagined words to her about he was going to do to her next…

A satisfying sex life requires and provides intimacy and connection. It is also about keeping things fresh, and requires honesty, communication and trust.

So many couples struggle, especially when we’re so stretched, stressed and tired.

But people, especially women, are clearly interested in spicing things up to address something they’re not getting in their normal sex lives and relationships. Just look at the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey. Thanks to these books –and soon movie– there has been more awareness and interest by mainstream people in trying things they had never considered previously. And, at the same time, it’s becoming not just recognized but accepted that women have just as strong interest in sex as men, and that includes the spicy stuff.

So, why are people interested in the spicy stuff? Well…

Things turn us on besides straight, “vanilla” sex.
The idea of giving up –or taking!—control is sexy, especially when we are in different power positions the rest of the time.
It’s interesting! And fun! And it adds novelty and newness. It’s an adventure.
It just turns us on, even if we don’t understand it.
It allows us to scratch an itch with a partner we can trust, building intimacy.
It just feels good!

But nice people don’t do that!

Uh… yes they do. My wife and I do. I’d say we appear to be totally normal suburban parents who don’t stand out, and certainly don’t advertise what we do in the bedroom. But our sex life has always had a kinky flavor. We’ve never thought it was anything to be ashamed of. It’s just been fun, and a release, and has allowed us to get something out of playing roles we’re careful to avoid in our day-to-day marriage of equals.

The 50 Shades stuff is about giving up control and power, and allowing ourselves to let someone else be in charge… or taking charge of another person and fulfilling our own somewhat primal appetites. In this world of increasing (if not perfect) gender equality, playing unequal roles temporarily allows us to feed parts of our primitive brains that still want to take another person, or be taken and desired. Then we return to our normal power structures of equality and respect, de-stressed, happy and itches scratched.

So consider spicing things up. One of the purposes of this site is to share things to help you improve your relationship by connecting in the bedroom. If that sounds interesting, please check out our second series of posts on Bedroom Secrets: Spicing Things Up. Spice up sex life.

But for now, check out our next post in this Relationships series.

Read the next post in the Keeping the Spark Alive Series: Why are we fighting?

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