How people discover they want to try bondage: Maggie McNeill’s Story
Maggie McNeill writes a provocative and well-reasoned pro-sex blog, The Honest Courtesan: Frank commentary from a retired call girl, that you should check out. She’s honest to a fault, pulls no punches, and is putting out a book of her compiled books soon. Check her out and watch for her book!
Here’s her story for how she discovered her interest in bondage and kinky sex, used with her permission.
…I might as well complete my confessional and admit that I’m terribly turned on by being tied up, and always have been. In my column of July 28th I mentioned that certain situations on TV made me feel “funny”, but that nobody else seemed affected; that’s because most of those situations involved bondage. Most people seem able to watch a scene of a woman being tied up without sexual arousal, but not me; watching girls being captured by bandits, carried off by monsters or chained and collared as slaves did it for me as well. Of course when I was four I had no idea what sex was and could not possibly have connected it to bondage even if I had; the recognition of the “funny feelings” as sexual did not come until I was about 12. But that didn’t stop me from enjoying the part of the damsel in distress in neighborhood make-believe games; somehow I usually managed to be the girl who was carried off or captured by the bad guys and had to be rescued. And if I was lucky they had rope handy and would really tie me to a tree or chair!
By the time I turned 17 I had discovered that if a man held my wrists down during sex it really got me going, so the first time a trusted boyfriend asked if he could tie me up I obviously agreed with great enthusiasm. That in turn led to blindfolds, gags, handcuffs, dominance and submission games and even spanking and whipping; though pain never really did anything for me, the act of submitting to the whipping was terribly exciting. In other words, it wasn’t the pain which turned me on but the fact that a man had the power to do it to me. Though neofeminists deny it, the fact is that most women are sexually aroused to one degree or another by being dominated by a man in a sexual situation; most male-dominant BDSM is an exaggeration of the normal female impulse rather than something completely different, which is why the rape fantasy is still among the most common of female sexual fantasies. The opposition of neofeminists to BDSM, like their opposition to prostitution, has nothing to do with their self-proclaimed “concern” for women and everything to do with their tired old anti-sex agenda. Neofeminism treats all non-neofeminist women as imbeciles and denies we have the right to make our own sexual choices when those choices conflict with neofeminist dogma. This is, of course, done “for our own good”; funny how often that phrase comes up whenever sex is concerned.
I think she’s absolutely right about what arouses a goodly number –but certainly not all!– women. I also like that she says that she’s not turned on by pain. That echoes what my gal and I enjoy, and it’s nice for some to say it so definitively. While “your kink is not my kink and that’s okay,” sometimes I do feel like folks look at you a bit cross-eyed when you say you don’t enjoy what they do. If you want to enjoy bondage, you don’t always need to be into the full alphabet of letters, including “s” and “m”.
She also has some interesting thoughts in the full post on whether bdsm is abuse, which is very timely given the release of the 50 Shades Movie.
Check her out!
