Are you keeping Kink closeted; just between yourselves?
Me and my gal, we stay pretty closeted, except with our online friends, where we usually keep a veil of anonymity. By closeted, I mean we don’t tell anyone publicly what we do in the bedroom.
Until the Gay Liberation Movement, most homosexual folks were closeted, which meant they were not “out” publicly about their sexual orientation.
As BDSM becomes more common and accepted, I think most of those who practice it are likewise “keeping kink closeted.”
For most of us who are dabbling, or who are Just in the Bedroom, it’s a fun and occasional part of our sex lives, not our identity. This is different from the minority of people who are more “Lifestyle,” but who make up the majority of FetLife. These are folks who incorporate bdsm into their lives and relationships every day.
Us regular folks don’t want people to know what we do in the bedroom, bdsm or otherwise. We have families, careers, and reputations. To come out and share with others what we do creates a huge risk.
My wife and I have never been to a munch or other event. The risk of running into somebody we know is too great. Even if they are in the same boat as us. We can’t be confident that they’ll keep their mouth shut. And what if some other acquaintance is serving tables, or happens to be in the same restaurant at the same time? For us, it’s not something we want to countenance. But maybe after the kids are grown and if we didn’t have careers…
Other folks feel differently I know.
So, for you, what is the threshold for coming out that you need to overcome, or overcame?